i write to you trapped in a wormhole at sea

i swim to the shorelines on endless repeat

"Gather yee serpents and put them in eye,"

he mutters, the mad man for endless days and all time

on a manatee

 

there the 

sands

green lit hands

blue

dreamy

glow

echoes on

see

the

ON

echoes on

moving on

up to

the

other side

 

black holes and the dust

dimensional thrust 

 

i swallow the sun

on the other side

 

this song is about this pivotal dream that defined my childhood.  My dad was a werefwolf.  I was hiding from him.  The dream alluded to my dad's violent outbursts that destroyed my ability to communicate when handling stress and anger.  it took a long time to learn that how those around us deal with stress and communicate their problems can have such a lasting effect on us.  i had some traumatic experiences later on in life due to this and problems at work that lead me to truly learn understand and know how to bring down my anger levels and be able to deal with intense situations.  

its a skill one must learn if one has had no proper role models.  my greatest fear is that i could still lose control.  that sort of release is like going home to a home cooked meal.  my dad would scream at us, yell at us, belittle our self confidence as a means of persuasion or being tough on us.  and thats why as a kid i had this dream where my dad was this werewolf banging on the door.  iw as so afraid, i was hiding under the blankets, so afraid at the banging on the door.  this song is trying to capture that fear of becoming one's parents and perpetuating that onto my child who i love and adore more than anything in the world.  i cant let her down, i cant become the wolf.

 

(harmony itself is chorus, no lyrics)

 

Open only with drums and vocal harmonies

 

FIRST SECTION

the presence of his jawline
his or i or who had claws?

hiding under the blankets
growling peers from under the doors

scream so loud to wake him
heartfelt hinges bursting off

the bones are bent and then breaking
my fingers gnarling roots of fur

i'm in a daydream
howling at the moon

i trace the tracks of my victim
the curse perpetuates a son

will I soon become him?
destined to answer this call?

please shake away these visions
hiding from the fears of flaws

i tear apart my family
i awaken in the grace of God

i'm in a daydream
howling at the moon

my heart, a hulking menace
the love i have has washed ashore
 
to drink away forgiveness
i dream of chalk encircling the floor

i sold all possessions
abandoned kids and hid the guns

 this shadow is inhuman
i lose control, become the wolf

the hallway narrowed

becoming very shortlived

focused 

as the scurried scattered and hurried into shadows

convulsing breaths shuttling stars into various carbonless entities

entries moving slowly,

slower and slower into the atmosphere of any possibility,

bumbling feeble little ignorant minds

like fire flies baking in a bottle with neurologic wizardry

popping another bubble and drinking contents ferociously

visions soon tattooed to eyelids

gaudy bodies shivering back and forth

like horizontal beams of linguistic lightning 

only tongues strewn upon hardwood floors

curling worms dancing into these abstractions

groundlings begging for digits and dollars

fountains pounds and pence

worming phrases appear in the lexicon

ushered into exposed paradigms

like corresponding brain like

convolutions

winding about

weeds sprouting about

speaking about

making no sense about

this or that

not no where

not no how

left only to selfish conquests

rotating pupils of radiating fluorescence

lost in the center of nothing feasting upon a Navus

an umbilical cord cast upon the godless

alter

&

praying only for certain eternity

before believing

this nonsense about

resurrection

 

And I was born from countless moments where I doubt myself

i gotta live for tomorrow I gotta love myself

i gotta be myself

i gotta feed this soul

i gotta go back to the place where the loving felt

like I could take off all my skin

and go walking thru the crowd

singing songs of redemption

till my heart is drooling down

and when I've spent all my money 

and I'm buried gone

who will remind you

that it's me singing this song

i gotta to speak my mind

i gotta open myself

ive been dwelling in the darkness

afraid to yell

im burning up from the floor until

im embers glowing phage

my pen has so much ink

because not on the page 

it writes from the cosmic space 

in the back of my skull

and ill keep this life blood 

in me till my belly is full

 

let me take a minute to speak the truth

while the truth is a smiling ssalesman 

im a singer at heart

i speak in tales

i love my moments

suffering prevails

do we need any more bloodshed?

do we need any more bloodshed?

do we need any more?

it's bloodshed.

 

every breath is a cliche

a burning shooting pain in my urethra

i stare into space

i am the empty pool with that last bit of dirty water

the leaves upturned

withered

moss over grown

Eyes vacant

i feel the car veer off into another lane

the heart beating on the floor

Flipping around like a fish in a barrel

where am I?

what have I done?

when will tomorrow

be gone?

i feel the spine with tingling fingers

arms as long as they could ever be wide

putting tongue out to taste the universe

the physical laws fell into the chorus

the verses are all melodies

i once thought were true

but as now benign trite wastes of time

everything i thought i knew then

was a compete and utter fallacy

what is left at the core of me

and i am as sad as these crocodile tears 

they will testify to my own internal fears

that fragment my conscious mind

at any day now

i resemble a cat startled by a burglar

of  the inner greatness

the darkness hand in hand with spiritual

displays of gorgeous contempt for ugliness

will my passions be the death of me

willl the death of me light a fire around me

will they be there to hear my final sounds

or will i sit alone

in the end and see it all, know nothing at all,

and then drift away into the gases, the atoms

bumping into one another

will the chimes be infinite to speak to the future tomorrow

will the future tomorrow speak of the possibilities that follow

from it, replace it, deface it

keep the pen hand strong

be mindful to let it all go and encompass

the pompous platypus ridiculousness of the pious pentagon

crashed and then gone

plane explodes and disappears

now there's a conspiracy growing there in the front lawns

of the frontal lobe, occipital lobe torn swing sway spinning globes

of other Earth-like worlds

capable of housing life

but can they house life in their hearts

or are they disfigured and torn apart

from the finish to the start

the egg before the chicken

the thumbing the nose

before the picketing

i'm sticking by the unions

no longer allowed to be on strike

you're an American worker

and its the Corporations who own the rights

to the fight and struggle for profit margins

to barge right in

and enlighten

the families of those at the top

without a black hole opening up below them

will the consumption machine ever stop?

i can't find another good word to write here

i'm being sincere

in my mind i keep skipping

its a burst of confetti

never stoping like

the skipping misting

of my intellectual stones

configured bones in patterns

of some rural graveyard

knowns leading problem solvers

on wild goose chases for the all encompassing

forgone conclusion

without conclusions,

do the introductions matter at all?

am i another blank stare at some boring Hollywood party

looking out at the hills of dreamy imagination?

will this even start for me before i'm finished

with my initiation

i have been pacing the same cell for days

i know not any direction

my toes and soles have become 

bloody

disfigured

vivisection

let me reconfigure this conversation

i digress without any superstitions

we are all alone with bloody toes

painting the floors of our universal connections

what sort of other hell

could we imagine

besides the deification of our fast food processed

defecation

and the primal nature of man 

on full display, go ahead and process

this inmate for insurrection

from any single location

beyond all galaxies

corresponding to any number of universes

where all my physical laws

are all i need to become that much more

but altered

i sleep standing on my head

my dreams of the unfortunately dead

i row boats down the street

hovering over grasses as liquid as the ocean once was

as my devotion once was

as this commotion standing up

of how a mind can spiral every which way

and never get up

till you can't conclude one idea 

and the vision is now corrupt

when the  simple microcosm of decision

soon splits up into dichotomous derision

and then i consider this possibility

i could be

in all honesty

a plastic man being stretched 

by indecision

veins and arteries poking out 

while the Earth is burning

in its ignorance 

or the Sun is simply

exploding millions of light years

from here

from now

away from this console

my skeleton

is 

covered with a gown

of 

inspiring

ash

 

cinders

lash

soot

liquor 

gash

crook

 

suck on another lime

 

teeth

tangle

guts

greed

mangle

corrupt

4

Oh

die

 

 

she

rattle

pills

shriek

pillows

gills

 

sacrifice another mime

 

breathe

in

light

shepherd

out 

night

 

sleep where dead dogs die

 

prepare

for

peace

strap

on 

this leash

 

follow me to the other side

 

black holes and tidal waves

in the dark of night

licking wounds tongues in bloom

taste mother nature's life

the irrelevance of me vacuum into seeds

disperse to the early light

the screaming of his eyes 

wrecked the sequence prime

numbers of another time

 

page

turning

screams

livid

lazer

beams

i'm reliving my life again

 

future

sandman

sleeps

seven

second

leap

the slaughter is soon at hand

 

abestos

on the clouds

gurgling

sacs of crowns

the ghost reeks of

death

 

the pulsing

of the

news

grey 

colored

hues

 

zooming there

and back again

 

 

dual life

gemini

 

one eye

gemini

 

black holes and tidal waves

in the dark of night

licking wounds tongues in bloom

taste mother nature's life

 

staring into night

 

burn and i came still hear the night

i can still hear the night

it's living in my mind

its a fear I couldn't find

its a fear I didn't kknow

till I gave it a new home

And it's the spirit of the mind body separation

the fleeting fascination

living in this moment time to time

 

 

 

the swirling of madness

it swallows the sadness

 

the eyes are exploding

dimensions are folding

 

the swirling of madness

 

the swirling of madness 

feasts on their carcass

 

 i'm no longer nameless

instead i'm just faceless

 

the swirling of madness

it swallows the sadness

 

the swirling of madness

 

my apparition fades now so slowly

the universe has always been this elusive shadow crawling over kiddy bedroom walls watching uninhibited curiosity in a dream like wonder traversing the prickly undertow of cosmic space infinity.

our origins are but burning beings fenced into some vacant block of foreclosed homes, its streets truncating reality, leaving a completely ridiculous answer coming from the cries enticing only revolution.  

and the drunken amnesiacs wake up in a labyrinth seemingly still and incapable of interpreting the galaxy's answers of trilobite tranquility, while vicarious street lights peer down and melt their own waning omnipotence.  

 while empty streets, boarded up restaurants, abandoned markets, and other vacant book store ghost fronts disappear and reappear.

the darkness fades now so slowly

 

i see a glimpse of who i'll be

the glow

of the rising sun

a dying west

that's borne of east.

sifting thru eons

so slowly

now

 

parabolas spiral like daggers into lungs, punctured, pressure rising, homeostasis fractured, oxygen diminishing, heart stopping, fingers quivering, world turning, life evolving.

and there he turned to his small window, these new thoughts befuddling him.  

a flame of flickering self doubt in modern humanoid mannequin missing meaning.

her hips sway down the path winding its branches of what only be absurdity,

the night, a breath chasing its own tail under the starlit skies suckling.

we could only be lost in the ON: a truth of the now, nothing more, nothing less, and only doubling.

It goes without saying that as the fog brews the coastlines, its soapy fields turn from gray to black,

smothering homogeny,

the swirling madness creeps down forth from its tendrils,

see the darkening clouds of drooping eye demagoguery?

my apparition fades now so slowly

all of my heart evaporates to revelry

the song 

sings to the farthest sun

borne of galaxies

borne of peace

living for the eons

so slowly

now

turn on the lights

i dont want to dream another night

i don't want to feel that anxious fright 

of knowing you're inside 

 

no pictures please

i don't want to remember painful miseries

i don't want to satisfy my curiousity

of knowing you're alive

of knowing you're alive 

 

Recognize, maybe?

Empathize maybe?

Marginalized, maybe?

Rectified, maybe?

Self actualized? maybe

Recognize, maybe?

 

take all my advice

next time do this right

 

if i never speak nor i see that

these words agree in your mind

i'll go on with my life

forgetting you're alive and fine