February 3, 2013

  • Daydream Werewolf

    this song is about this pivotal dream that defined my childhood.  My dad was a werefwolf.  I was hiding from him.  The dream alluded to my dad's violent outbursts that destroyed my ability to communicate when handling stress and anger.  it took a long time to learn that how those around us deal with stress and communicate their problems can have such a lasting effect on us.  i had some traumatic experiences later on in life due to this and problems at work that lead me to truly learn understand and know how to bring down my anger levels and be able to deal with intense situations.  

    its a skill one must learn if one has had no proper role models.  my greatest fear is that i could still lose control.  that sort of release is like going home to a home cooked meal.  my dad would scream at us, yell at us, belittle our self confidence as a means of persuasion or being tough on us.  and thats why as a kid i had this dream where my dad was this werewolf banging on the door.  iw as so afraid, i was hiding under the blankets, so afraid at the banging on the door.  this song is trying to capture that fear of becoming one's parents and perpetuating that onto my child who i love and adore more than anything in the world.  i cant let her down, i cant become the wolf.

     

    (harmony itself is chorus, no lyrics)

     

    Open only with drums and vocal harmonies

     

    FIRST SECTION

    the presence of his jawline
    his or i or who had claws?

    hiding under the blankets
    growling peers from under the doors

    scream so loud to wake him
    heartfelt hinges bursting off

    the bones are bent and then breaking
    my fingers gnarling roots of fur

    i'm in a daydream
    howling at the moon

    i trace the tracks of my victim
    the curse perpetuates a son

    will I soon become him?
    destined to answer this call?

    please shake away these visions
    hiding from the fears of flaws

    i tear apart my family
    i awaken in the grace of God

    i'm in a daydream
    howling at the moon

    my heart, a hulking menace
    the love i have has washed ashore
     
    to drink away forgiveness
    i dream of chalk encircling the floor

    i sold all possessions
    abandoned kids and hid the guns

     this shadow is inhuman
    i lose control, become the wolf